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04|01|1942 08:30 am EDT

GoDaddy’s Bob Parsons Hunts Down Problem Kittens

by Adam Strong in Categories: April 1

Please note that the following is a parody intended for April Fools day 2011.

Bob Parsons, CEO of domain registrar, announced today that his 2012 vacation hunt will be to Peterville, Illinois where Parsons will go on a kitten hunting expedition. Parsons, an avid hunter, recently posted videos of his 2011 hunting vacation in Zimbabwe where he helped local farmers kill a problem elephant.

This time Parsons will have his work cut out for him. “Kittens are really fast animals and really small” says Bob. “I’m going to need at least a 50 cal for this hunt.” The city of Peterville, population 723, has provided Parsons and his 20 person safari team with permits, right of way, as well as the key to the city. In addition to being rid of these problem kittens, the residents of Peterville will be provided with free Asian cuisine, and free tube tops. Franklin Campbell, the Mayor of Peterville, talked about the problem “They (the cats) claw up the arms of chairs, they poop in sand boxes. One even drank milk right from Ethel Taylor’s milk bucket. It’s just a mess over here.”

When questioned about the need to hunt kittens Parsons stated “There are occasions all over the world where people fall prey to these kittens. Problem animals need to be killed and Peterville needs our help.”    PETA officials recently named Parsons the Scummiest CEO of the Year, but have yet to respond to this recent news.

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April 1, 2011 @ 9:21 am EDT

“free Asian cuisine” Nice!

David J Castello

April 1, 2011 @ 9:25 pm EDT

Next he’s going after the roosters in Key West.


April 1, 2011 @ 11:32 pm EDT

What a slimeball.

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