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04|01|2007 03:29 am EDT

ICANN to Auction Second ‘N’

by G Vegas in Categories: April 1

Governing Body to Become Simply ‘ICAN’

CARACAS, VENEZUELA – In a startling turn of events, DNN has uncovered memorandum detailing future ICANN plans to auction off its second ‘N’.

“Some people have always viewed that ‘N’ as sort of pretentious, showy,� said an ICANN official who preferred to remain anonymous due to the sensitive nature of ongoing negotiations with e-Bay.

In fact, DNN has obtained a classified memo dated January 20th, 2008 in which a high-ranking ICANN officer informed directors of the plan.

“That ‘N’ has served its purpose,� the longhand note reads, “no longer can we afford to represent ‘numbers’ – not when the value of that ‘letter’ far exceeds the value of numeric domains, de damned!�

The ‘numbers’ line is a clear reference to the ‘Numbers’ in ICANN – Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers.

“There was never supposed to be two ‘n’s,� says another source who chose to remain nameless because of the inaccuracy of his statements. “Originally it was just ‘ICAN’ but someone up top decided that sounded too much like a swim camp for social retards, so they added the extra ‘N’.

Declassified documents and napkins show some of the early choices board members voted on for the new ‘N’ were ‘Nervous-Nellies’, ‘Nerds’ and ‘Poppycock’ – ultimately excluded because it did not start with an ‘N’.

In the end, it came down to ‘Numbers’ or ‘Numeros’ and the vote went across language-lines with the English contingent narrowly beating out a fierce frontal by the Spanish. Shades of McKinley and the Rough Riders, indeed.

“Some of us never wanted the damn thing,� said an ICANN chef who chose to remain anonymous because he could never find employment elsewhere. “We knew they’d sell it someday. I wouldn’t eat the corn chowder if I were you�

Sources indicate the auction will be held at one of six remaining TRAFFIC shows this year – which show is a secret being guarded like the Manhattan Project. We do know that the winner will be allowed to use the letter in any way they choose.

“If your name is Da, you can make it Dan. Or maybe your company needs that extra ‘n’ for a marketing campaign or ad – how you use the ‘N’ is totally up to you,� said Da.

This is a developig story, stay tued.

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1 Comment

Desperate Domainer

April 1, 2008 @ 6:57 am EDT

I don’t know guys, DNNN sounds a heck of alot better than DNN. I see a bidding war with CNNN.

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