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04|01|2009 04:27 pm EDT

Domain Pope Defrocked Over New Orleans Controversy

by Adam Strong in Categories: April 1

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Please note that the following is a parody intended for April Fools day 2009.

pope1

DNN has received official word from The Papal Cardinal of Domains, Francois Doticus Comus, that long time Domain Pope, John Berryhill has been defrocked. The disheartening news came only weeks after the pontiff was caught on camera dangling a “marital aid” from a balcony in New Orleans. Berryhill likely has been under a great deal of stress with sanctification of new TLDs weighing heavily on his mind.

pope2The Domain Pope had a large following and many friends, so the defrocking will not mean that his work will cease. Still many others have expressed outrage over the incident.  One domain industry insider who chose to remain anonymous wondered “If the Domain Pope has been caught doing these sorts of things in public what exactly could he be doing at those ICANN meetings ?”

A formal statement from Berryhill is expected later this week.

04|01|2009 03:15 pm EDT

“We Just Make It All Up” Reveals Google Internal Email Leak

by Adam Strong in Categories: April 1

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Please note that the following is a parody intended for April Fools day 2009.

Domain Name News has received a copy of a private email correspondence between Google employees and a domain company that indicates what some in the domain space have suspected all along.  The email dated April 1, 2006 between two Google employees and a domain parking company includes part of an internal conversation not meant for the parking company’s eyes. The parking company was accidentally cc’ed the internal email and has kept the email secret until now.

The email from the parking company source indicates that they were unclear of how domain traffic and clicks were being credited to some of their clients. The parking company emailed their account rep and in turn the rookie account rep turned to his superior.  In responding to the junior Google employees inquiry in how to handle the inquiry, the senior Google employee tells his colleague to inform them “statistics are proprietary information not divulged per our contract terms”.

Later however in the back and forth talks about the domain name channel and statistics the junior representative asks his boss how the statistics and payouts are tracked. “Where can I find the algorithm for the domain channel statistics” ask the rep.  To which his boss reminds him again, “Remember what we talked about in your training?  We just make that all up. Just tell them again that it’s proprietary.”

Read the full email after the jump.

Continue reading

04|01|2009 02:37 pm EDT

ICANN Moves Forward with UFODN Plans

by Adam Strong in Categories: April 1, Up to the Minute

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Please note that the following is a parody intended for April Fools day 2009.

Now that ICANN has moved forward plans to create domain names in every character set and language on Earth, the organization is pushing forward a new plan to implement new Unidentified Foreign Origin Domain Names (UFODNs).

Outgoing ICANN President Paul Twomey stated “These new domain names will pave the way for alien species and extra-terestials to set up their own internet presence in the future. We see a future on the internet where bored nerds on planet RErOn49 can blog about their boring lives in their own languages and have domain names that match.”

04|01|2009 01:48 pm EDT

Andrew Alleman Leaves Domain Name Wire for DNN.com

by Chad Kettner in Categories: April 1

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Please note that the following is a parody intended for April Fools day 2009.

A big welcome to Andrew Alleman, who has left his editorial role at DomainNameWire.com to join the growing team at DomainNameNews.com. Andrew comes to us with over 10 years of experience in the domain industry and much success as a writer and publisher at DNW. He has been quoted in the New York Times, Sydney Morning Herald, The Daily Sausage and a number of other publications and is expected to continue his professional growth as a member of our team, albeit in a much smaller role than what he has grown accustomed to.

“Andrew is obviously a very accomplished writer, contributor, and analyst with a keen interest in the domain industry,” said Adam Strong of DNN.com. “We’re excited to have him on our team.”

Andrew Allemann explained his decision on DomainNameWire.com earlier today:

“By joining Domain Name News, I’m partnering with a great team that can help take the load off my back so I can sit back, relax, hang out in Vegas all week and enjoy a bit more freedom while still staying in touch.  I’d like to thank Adam and Frank for giving me the chance to work with them in the upcoming months, and hopefully long into the future.”

[see DomainNameWire for more details]

04|01|2009 12:57 pm EDT

Twitter Set to Apply for .TWEET TLD

by Chad Kettner in Categories: April 1, Up to the Minute

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Please note that the following is a parody intended for April Fools day 2009.

Minds + Machines, a full service consulting firm for new top level domains, has announced that Twitter, the micro-blogging social network that has taken the internet by storm, is set to apply for a “.tweet” TLD.

“Abdur Chowhury of Twitter approached us with his idea to apply for a new TLD in early February,” said Antony Van Couvering of Minds + Machines. “To apply for a new TLD you must, of course, have a community – and the folks at Twitter quickly pointed out that Twitterers are just as relevent of a community as anybody else. After looking at the financing and feasability aspects of applying for a .tweet TLD, we worked with Twitter to create a powerful ICANN application. Now it’s time to wait and see.”

Click here for Twitter’s official “tweet” regarding their ICANN application.

04|01|2009 11:21 am EDT

Kentucky to Pass Law Forbidding Parked Pages

by Chad Kettner in Categories: April 1

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Please note that the following is a parody intended for April Fools day 2009.

Kentucky Governor Steve Beshear is at it again – and this time he’s targeting parked domains.

Beshear, who is infamous for attempting to seize 141 poker and gambling domains because they were accessible within the Commonwealth of Kentucky, which does not allow gambling, is now fighting to pass a law forbidding parked pages because of the unregulated content that so often exists.

“Parked domains often have content that promotes products and services that are considered illegal in the state of Kentucky,” Beshear said in a press conference earlier today. “Because of the fact that their content is not controlled by the actual domain owner, which limits our ability to press charges, we believed they should be made inaccessible within the Commonwealth of Kentucky.

We are currently looking to work with domain parking companies to prevent parked domains from being accessed within the state. If this issue is not resolved in an agreeable manner, we are willing to pursue other options.”

Beshear later said in a press release that he would be confident in the state’s case if it were to go to court.

04|01|2009 10:34 am EDT

Canadian Government Rejects New .eh Extension, Loyalist Group Joins California Governor

by Adam Strong in Categories: April 1, Up to the Minute

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Please note that the following is a parody intended for April Fools day 2009.

Canadian government officials confirmed with DNN that the government will be attending the upcoming Sydney ICANN meeting to block the progress of a proposed new CCTLD.  As previously reported, California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is pushing to have the .ca delegated to the state of California and .eh to become the new Canadian ccTLD.

The long standing battle over the new domain name extension came to a head this week as the Canadian government released their official statement. “In no way will we allow this travesty to occur”, explained Jean Luc Remole spokesperson for Prime Minister Stephen Harper.

Canadian domainers remain split. Loyalist leader and Dot Eh company President, Shaun Pilfod believes the group has a large enough following to turn the tables on this battle and help Schwarzenegger pass the reallocation. “We’re very proud Canadians and this confusion in the marketplaces needs to be fixed,” explained Pilfold.

04|01|2009 09:37 am EDT

Godaddy Takes The Christian Path Drops Ads Announces New Strategy

by Adam Strong in Categories: April 1, Up to the Minute

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Please note that the following is a parody intended for April Fools day 2009.

Godaddy CEO Bob Parsons has finally caved in to the battle over the company’s controversial advertising campaigns.  Company President Bob Parsons has been meeting with Christian church leaders over the past few weeks and announced today that the company is renaming itself God Addy.

“We’ve seen the light and we’re taking a more spiritual approach to our marketing now” states Godaddy’s Public Relations Department. With domain names often referred to as internet addresses, and Addy being short for address, this name change makes for an easy transition for the previously racy company. “We have parntered with the biggest churches in the world and now are proud to announce we have their support.”

The company also announced the release of their new ad campaign featuring the God Addy Choir Boys and the God Addy Gospel Girls.  The new campaign and ads can be downloaded from the company website later this week.

04|01|2009 08:11 am EDT

Conficker C Worm Strikes VeriSign – Hundreds of Thousands of Registrations Erased

by Chad Kettner in Categories: April 1, Up to the Minute

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Please note that the following is a parody intended for April Fools day 2009.

Reports said Conficker C would do damage, but nobody anticipated it would be this bad! The Conficker C virus, which was knowingly scheduled to create havoc on April 1, has wormed its way into VeriSign’s root servers  – erasing hundreds of thousands of .com and .net registration records.

“We have never seen anything like this before,” said a VeriSign Spokesperson. “We have a number of security measures in place to prevent such a thing, but nothing could have prepared us for what Conficker C has done. We are still investigating the situation and confident that we will be able to eventually re-gain the registration data from our backup data facilities on the Cocos Islands and Tuvalu, but there are a number of preventative measures we must first complete to ensure that information does not get corrupted as well.”

If you believe you have lost some of your domains to Conficker C’s attack on VeriSign, click here to contact their emergency center.

[via VeriSign]

Please note that the following is a parody intended for April Fools day 2009.

04|01|2009 07:12 am EDT

Awakened From 5 year Coma, Domainer Wants His Money Back

by Adam Strong in Categories: April 1

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Please note that the following is a parody intended for April Fools day 2009.

For most waking from a coma is seen as good news, but for Charles Dupont he’s received the rudest of awakenings. Dupont’s car accident on December 4th, 2004 caused severe brain swelling. He lied in a hospital bed comatose from that injury from that day until March 25th when he suddenly awoke.

Dupont tells DNN. “I was an up and comer in the domain space. I hung out with Rick, Kevin, Frank and all those guys. I went to all those parties you hear about. I drove a Bentley, had my Manhattan apartment and my Delray beach house, but now I wake up to find it’s all been virtually wiped out.”

By estimates Dupont spent upwards of $20 million investing in domains at the peak. “We were one of the top auction bidders and we didn’t mess around. If we liked it we bought it.”  Dupont’s brother Stephen has been managing his domains in the meantime and has seen the PPC revenue dropping. “I knew if Charles ever woke up he’d wonder what the f*** I did to lose him this much money. We’ve been trying everything to keep the revenue we had in 2004 but we can only really operate so many mini-sites.”

Dupont is now looking at the domain space with a fresh set of eyes  “The domain space is filled with a lot of pipe dreams. I just woke up from a 5 year nap. My dream is now a nightmare and all I know is I want my money back.”