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04|01|1910 02:30 pm EDT

GoDaddy Seeks To Remedy Back-Order Service From “Not Delivering Value”

by Richard Lau in Categories: April 1, Up to the Minute

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Please note that the following is a parody intended for April Fools day 2010.

After being blasted by the NewYork Post over issues with their domain back-order services, GoDaddy agreed today to completely overhaul the services.  By having multiple customers pay $18.99 to back order the same domain, only to face each other in an online auction for the same domain, the company believes this is “not delivering value to our customers”.

Bob Parsons said in a statement “While I was bathing in the milk of 1000 coconuts last night, I got a call from Danica about this issue. At first I was like ‘Hey, sweetie, you stick to beating the boys in the cars and leave the serious business to us real men’,  but then I started to see her point.  To make up for it, we are going to let any affected members come to our office and participate in a first annual Dunk Danica event on April 1st between 3pm and 5pm.”

If you are a Godaddy member who has paid for a backorder only to have it end up in an auction, head on down to try your luck at dunking Danica in the Godaddy Dunk Tank.

04|01|1910 11:59 am EDT

Scoop: DomainFest To Announce New Global Tour Dates

by Adam Strong in Categories: April 1, Up to the Minute

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Please note that the following is a parody intended for April Fools day 2010.

Information provide to DNN from sources within Overseee have informed us that the company is not only planning two new 1-day events in the United States but plans to continue with these events and turn DomainFest in to a global touring show with over 67 locations including Detroit, Scranton, Toledo, Broken Arrow and Walawala

DomainFest has clearly identified that domainers want the show brought to them. DomainFest has answered that call and is taking their shows on the road.  Not everyone can get to Los Angeles.Competing conferences from TRAFFIC have announced plans for six shows in 2010 and DomainFest has really stepped it up a notch with this announcement.  See below for all tour dates.

And yes if you are a  Jonas Brothers fan you’ll notice something about these dates. DomainFest coincides with all the Jonas Brothers tour dates.  I hear Jeff Kupietzky is a huge fan.

  • June 20: Dallas
  • June 22: Tulsa, Okla.
  • June 24: Denver
  • June 26: Nampa, Idaho
  • June 27: Portland, Ore.
  • June 28: Tacoma, Wash.
  • June 30:Vancouver, B.C.
  • July 2: Edmonton, Alberta
  • July 4: Salt Lake  City, Utah
  • July 5:  Winnipeg, Manitoba
  • July 7: Omaha, Neb.
  • July 8: Minneapolis, Minn.
  • July 9: Milwaukee, Wis.
  • July 10: Rosemont, Ill.
  • July 13: Washington, D.C.
  • July 14: East Rutherford, N.J.
  • July 17: Boston
  • July 20: Uniondale, N.Y.
  • July 24: Philadelphia
  • July 25: Pittsburgh
  • July 26: Detroit
  • July 28: St. Louis
  • July 29: Kansas City, Mo.
  • Aug. 1: Las Vegas
  • Aug. 3: San Jose, Calif.
  • Aug. 4: Sacramento, Calif.
  • Aug. 5: Fresno, Calif.
  • Aug. 7: Los Angeles
  • Aug. 11: Phoenix, Ariz.
  • Aug. 13: San Antonio, Texas
  • Aug. 14: Houston
  • Aug. 15:  New Orleans
  • Aug. 16: Birmingham, Ala.
  • Aug. 18: Tampa, Fla.
  • Aug. 19: Ft.Lauderdale, Fla.
  • Aug. 21: Jacksonville, Fla.
  • Aug. 22: Atlanta
  • Aug. 23: Lexington, Ky.
  • Aug. 25: Nashville
  • Aug. 26: Columbus, Ohio
  • Aug. 27: Cleveland, Ohio
  • Aug. 29: Montreal, Quebec
  • Aug. 30: Toronto
  • Aug. 31: Ottawa, Ontario

04|01|1910 11:58 am EDT

Rick Schwartz Nexts ChatRoulette.com

by Adam Strong in Categories: April 1

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Please note that the following is a parody intended for April Fools day 2010.

Rick Schwartz announced on his blog today that he is seeking trademark infringement charges against up-and-coming web cam website ChatRoullete.com for it’s use of his trademarked phrase “Next”.

The popular site lets users chat with random people. If you are not interested in talking to a particular person you can pass on to the next person by clicking the “NEXT” button.  Users of the site have coined the action as a “nexting” or getting “nexted”.

Schwartz claims in his charges that the “Next” phrase has been clearly lifted from his first use in commerce of 1996.  “I NEXTED HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE BEFORE THIS KID EVEN KNEW WHAT .COM WAS. HE’S GOT SOME NERVE !! ,” stated Schwartz in a statement to DNN.

04|01|1910 11:30 am EDT

Domain Camp Seeks To Take Domainers Back To The Roots

by Frank Michlick in Categories: April 1

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Please note that the following is a parody intended for April Fools day 2010.

Domain Name News editor Adam Strong and Fin Lemonde have announced a new “back to the roots” event coined DomainCamp.  The new “unconference” seeks to reconnect domainers to the roots of where the domaining industry began.   New domainers and even old-school domainers that have been at it a long time can benefit from “slipping in to the shoes of some of the pioneers of this business” stated Strong.  “See through their eyes and learn how they got to where they are.

Events and outings planned for the month long excursion include :

  • Watermelon picking with Scott Day
  • Wiring and electrical demonstrations by Garry Chernoff
  • Visits to health care clinics with Dr Kevin Ham
  • Door-to-door sales demonstrations with Rick Schwartz

Accommodations are limited. Strong has reserved a 1984 Honda Accord, a VW bus and 2 double wide trailers for VIPs accommodations.  Up to 25 guests can be accommodated in tents, Strong’s parents basement or above his Uncle Gus’ garage.  Sleeping bags, Ramen Noodles and Mountain Dew will be provide for all guests.  “We really want people to feel the whole experience of what it means to be a domainer and feel that deep in their soul. This is a not to miss experience.

04|01|1910 10:30 am EDT

Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn To Ban Domainers

by Adam Strong in Categories: April 1

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Please note that the following is a parody intended for April Fools day 2010.

In an effort to curb the growing number of domainers inundating social media sites, Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn have joined together to form Social Media Against Domainers (SMAD).  The association of social media and web service providers seeks to block or filter all forms of communication about domain names from taking place on social media sites.

Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn have recently been inundated with hundreds of new groups, forums, and postings by domainers seeking to sell their domains or self-promote a service.  These social media sites that are joining forces have been receiving thousands of complaints about the clutter and mess that this adds to the overall social media landscape.  An anonymous blogger writes “I’ve had it!   It’s bad enough I have to hear about what John Mayer ate for breakfast or how great Justin Bieber is, but now I’ve got domainers . .These domainers need to stop sending me all their crap domains for sale.”

One headline-faking, social-media-abuser believes this is just a temporary setback. “Believe me I’ll find a way to send CEOs and thought leaders my domain names for sale.”  Patrick Ruddel of Chefpatrick.com who connects with his audience through Twitter  is devastated by the news. “I’m not sure what I’ll do during the day if I can’t tweet to my tweeps” said the Chef.

Other services providers connected to the domain space are unimpressed by these moves and are embracing the domainer movement. Companies like VBulletin, phpBB and WordPress have been vehemently against the SMAD moves to ban domainers. WordPress founder Matt Mullenweg stated “We have hundreds of domainers starting blogs on our software every day.  Right behind the Perez Hilton knock-off blogs, these guys represent a big part of our business.”  phpBB software founder Kyle Plevitz told DNN “There’s a niche forum for every kind of domainer out there today and we’re not going to prevent that kind of growth in use of our software.”

04|01|1910 09:30 am EDT

Tucows Hoardes 1 Millionth Domain

by Adam Strong in Categories: April 1, Up to the Minute

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Please note that the following is a parody intended for April Fools day 2010.

Right on the heels of announcing that they had reached the milestone of 10 million domain names registered, domain name registrar Tucows announced that they have claimed ownership of their 1 millionth expired domain name.

“We’re very excited about breaking the million domains hoarded barrier,” Tucows execs stated in the announcement.  “It’s not as easy as you think taking these great domains as they expire.  Not all of these expiring domains are money-makers. We actually have to test the domains to see if they’re worth keeping for ourselves.”

Tucows credits their resellers for bringing a steady supply of customers that provide the steady stream of expiring domains for the company to add to their portfolio.  “Others have come before us, but clearly Tucows is the innovative leader in the hoarding space.”

04|01|1910 08:41 am EDT

Goodwill Industries Announces Domain Name Donation Program

by Adam Strong in Categories: April 1

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Please note that the following is a parody intended for April Fools day 2010.

Goodwill Industries announced the launch of their new domain name donation initiative today.  The charitable organization, known by many for their donation boxes and their used clothing stores across the US, have been feeling the economic pinch as well and have decided to open up their donation program on the internet.

The announcement comes just months after Goodwill Industries received a nice “donation” of the domain name Goodwill.com by way of a lawsuit over the domain name.  The domain name Goodwil.com had expired and was auctioned at Namejet and sold for $55,000 . Weeks later the company was suing the new owner.

“We clearly see the value in domain names now and we’re looking for new sources of revenue and employment opportunities to service the needy”  stated Goodwill president Jim Gibbons.  As the economy worsens and domain owners begin to cull out domains from their portfolio that they no longer want, Goodwill is in a great position to take on these unwanted domains.  “Goodwill has the resources and man power to come in and take these donated domains and turn them in to directories, blogs, mini-sites and more.  Heck, we’ll even accept your .biz domain donations!” stated Gibbons .

NOTICE : This is an April Fool’s Day spoof .  If you are too stupid to realize this by now I feel for you.  We had to put this statement up because the Goodwill Industries has emailed and asked us and because they clearly don’t want your crappy .biz domain names.

04|01|1910 08:30 am EDT

Verizon Sues Verizon

by Adam Strong in Categories: April 1, Up to the Minute

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Please note that the following is a parody intended for April Fools day 2010.

In a move reminiscent of the Coke vs Coke Zero lawsuit , Verizon Wireless has sued Verizon Internet over trademark infringement.  Attorneys for the two companies refused to comment on the pending legal battle.

Verizon may be best known as one of the most aggressive companies in pursuing legal cases against anyone in the domain space who infringes on their trademark.  The company, however,  is also widely known and has been sued previously for monetizing on trademark error traffic itself on Verizon internet services.

Verizon Wireless clearly has had enough of paying for ads that were showing up on Verizon Internet. It’s unclear if Verizon Internet will counter-sue Verizon Wireless for serving Verizon Internet ads on their mobile platform.

04|01|1910 07:30 am EDT

Venture Capitalist, Wished to Buy Sex.com Instead Buys All Domains From DomainMadness Auction

by Frank Michlick in Categories: April 1

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Please note that the following is a parody intended for April Fools day 2010.

As the DomainMadness2 comes to a close, the extended auction which closes today has been served up a huge boost.  At the start of the day today, venture capitalist Stefan Roegge emailed the DomainMadness team and informed them that he wished to purchase all the domains in the extended auction.

This is just a much better way to invest in domain names. Rather than invest all my eggs in one basket, I can buy a wide variety of names in various niches and classes for less than the cost of 1 domain. This is the perfect opportunity to buy premium domains and jump start a portfolio” wrote Roegge in his email.

Since the domain names are still at auction, the domains have not officially been sold. Bids are still open at  DomainMadness2.com until 3pm today

The live DomainMadness event saw a healthy amount of sales rung up with the CamRoulette.com sold for $151,000 and a total sales volume of over $209,000. The extended auction couldn’t have hoped for better publicity as the auction closes today.

Disclaimer: Adam Strong is Managing Editor for DNN and consultant at DomainConsultant, organizer of the DomainMadness2 Domain Auction.